The frazzled, overwrought mom. The mom who has everything together and smiles through it all. The helicopter mom who lives only for her kids.

We constantly see these stock-standard portrayals of motherhood, so much, in fact, that we start to question if there’s something weird about us being more complex, more nuanced, and more flat-out real. Please take this as our once-and-for-all statement that there isn’t. When it comes to motherhood, or personhood for that matter, there’s no such thing as one size fits all. Those who choose to become mothers, just like those who don’t, are learning their strengths and weaknesses, figuring things out as they go, and living life on their own terms.