母性への成長

"Waking up almost fifteen times at night to feed a baby" that was something I had set my mind into when I found out that I was pregnant because that's what everyone said -" you'll never get any sleep". But that's not at all the main thing I discussed when people asked me how my life changed after a baby. For me it was the opposite, I spoke of the amazing experience and the indescribable feeling of looking at a tiny person and knowing that she/he is yours, yours to take care of yours to give all your time and all your love and you become this person that this little life depends on, wow, that's the main thing that changed in my life after having a child.

Having a child is something I hope that everyone who wants to get to experience, the unconditional love, the amount of joy and the plus 100 sizes your heart grows. 

The cliché of "kids are the meaning of life" is the truth, they are the future and they're the ones we start with if we want to make the world a better place, nothing happens over a night. 

Small issues in life don't matter anymore, waking up everyday knowing you get to hug and kiss your child and watch him/her grow into a human being that you've raised and see the result of your hard work and dedication is the only thing that matters.

I love motherhood, I love being pregnant and I love to give birth. For me it's an honour to be able to do so. 

My three pregnancies were so different from each other, my first pregnancy was an amazing experience without any difficulties besides morning sickness. I had a natural birth at week 41+2. My second pregnancy was a lot harder for me, getting pregnant when our firstborn was only three months and my body had not healed at all, so my hormones went all crazy I guess, by week 36 I began feeling depressed and I just knew that it had to do with my pregnancy, with help from the doctors I gave birth in week 37+1 but unfortunately it ended up in an emergency c-section where she lost her pulse and heartbeats, but she was a fighter and so was I and we ended up healthy and happy. My third pregnancy was a roller coaster, I was so happy being pregnant but it was hard taking care of two small children while having to deal with backpain and moodswings, loosing my temper and feeling guilty for it didn't help either. But I gave birth(natural birth) in week 40 to a healthy little boy. 

I never breastfed our first born because it went wrong from day one with no help at the hospital and a hungry and crying baby. So I gave him formula and I pumped my breasts for three weeks and gave whatever milk that I had pumped out in a bottle. 

With our second child I had decided that I would try everything I could to breastfeed and after the traumatic birth I really did everything to breastfeed for as long as it worked. 
But believe me when I said it was anything but easy. I got mastitis four times and went to the emergency room every time because of to high fever that wouldn't give in. They recommended me to visit breastfeeding clinics to get help and etc, but I knew that it would end if I just got her to latch on right, and so I tried every breastfeeding position until I found one that felt the best and didn't hurt, it was sitting up and leaning a bit forward with her in my arms, I could never breastfeed lying down och leaning back. 

With our third child the breastfeeding was a piece of cake because of my experience with kid number two, I had no issues or any pain not even a sore nipple. I breastfed both for five months and then changed to formula because it worked best with our hectical daily life with small children who all needed their time and space. 

For me as a woman who got to carry the child my journey into motherhood started when I saw the plus sign. I grew into my role more and more and I still grow every day. I can't remember my character and my needs before I became a mother. This is who I'm meant to be in life. 

I am 28 years old and a mother of three, married and I run my own company. I am high on life and family is everything.